Life

Love and Bonds

Love is cared for with clear words and small gestures. These practices open a possibility, give thanks for what is already there and help you let go; the other person's answer is always their own.

Opening to a love that goes both ways

To make room for a bond in which affection and freedom grow together.

You need: A rose, a piece of pink paper or a pink light · Paper and a pencil
Time: Fifteen minutes

Set the rose, the pink paper or the light in front of you.
Imagine the space of your heart becoming a place someone could live in: there is room to give, to receive and to keep your independence.
Say the words.
Write three qualities that you yourself want to practice in a relationship.
Write three needs you want to make known.
Don't write anyone's name to demand their love. You are opening a possibility; the answer belongs to each person.

“I open myself to bonds in which affection and freedom can grow together. I want to recognize the people who wish to share with me, each of us giving and receiving. May I love without losing myself, and receive love without having to prove a worth that is already mine.”

A pink candle on Friday

To dedicate the day of Venus to the love you want to give and receive.

You need: A pink candle · A plate or a sturdy candleholder · Paper and a pencil
When: On a Friday, the day of Venus, at dusk or at night.
Time: Fifteen minutes

Set the candle on the plate, on a cleared table.
Write on the paper what the love you want to give and receive is like. Don't write anyone's name.
Leave the paper to one side of the candle, not under it.
Light the candle.
Say the words.
Stay a few minutes looking at the light and think of one loving gesture you could make this week, toward yourself or someone else.
Put out the candle and keep the paper. If you like, repeat the following Friday with the same candle.

“Venus, on your day I light this flame. May the love I give be clear and the love I receive be free. May I know it when it comes and care for it while it is here.”

Care: Stay beside the candle while it is lit and keep it away from curtains and papers.

A petition to Archangel Chamuel

To ask for company in loving tenderly, yourself and others.

You need: A pink candle · A plate or a sturdy candleholder · Paper and a pencil
When: On a Tuesday, the day dedicated to him.
Time: Fifteen minutes

Write your petition: what you are asking for in your love life. It can be comfort for a heartache, patience with someone or readiness for a new bond.
Light the candle.
Read your petition slowly.
Say the words.
Picture a pink light wrapping your heart and spreading out around you.
Give thanks and put out the candle.
Choose one specific act of care for today: a call you owe someone, an apology or some time to rest.

“Beloved Archangel Chamuel, wrap my heart in your pink light. Help me love with respect, receive affection without fear and be tender with myself. Thank you for staying with me.”

Care: Stay beside the candle while it is lit and put it out before you get up.

Caring for a love you already have

To give thanks for a bond you have and give it your attention.

Time: Five minutes

Think of a person with whom you share a bond that both of you want to care for: a partner, a friend, chosen family or someone who supports you.
Remember one specific thing they did for you.
Say the words. If you are together, each of you can add your own.
Thank them for it in a way that is comfortable for them.
Choose one brief action for today: listening without interrupting, keeping an agreement or sharing a moment of real attention.

“I am thankful for what we share. May we know how to listen, tell the truth and mend the small hurts before they turn into distance. May our closeness have room for our differences.”

Red underwear on New Year's Eve

To welcome the year with the wish to love and be loved.

You need: A new piece of red underwear
When: The night of December 31.
Time: One minute

Get it a few days ahead. If someone gives it to you, all the better: that is how the custom goes.
On the 31st, put it on when you dress for dinner, under your clothes, where it doesn't show.
As you put it on, say the words.
At midnight, think of one specific way to care, through the year, for someone you love, or for yourself.

“I welcome the year with a willing heart. May there be affection in my life, and may I know how to give it.”

Letting go of a bond that hurts

To stop holding on to a wait, a resentment or a relationship that has already ended.

You need: A ribbon, or a sheet of paper and a pencil
Time: Fifteen minutes

Tie a loose knot in the ribbon, or draw two circles side by side on the paper. Don't tie the ribbon to any part of your body.
Name what you want to let go of.
Picture a violet light softening the knot.
Undo the knot, or draw the circles again with space between them.
Say the words.
Afterward, do something that takes care of you: a quiet meal, a walk, a talk with someone you trust.
Don't demand of yourself that you feel lighter right away, or that you get back in touch. This may be the beginning of a longer process.

“I acknowledge what I lived through, and I stop holding on to what hurts me. I give the other person back their path and take back my own. I ask for strength to keep the boundaries I need. May each of us find ways to live in greater peace.”

When you don't know where a relationship stands

To separate what you know from what you imagine about a bond.

You need: Paper and a pencil
Time: Fifteen minutes

Draw two columns on the page: “what I know” and “what I imagine.”
Fill in each one with what belongs there.
Say the words.
Underneath, write your answer to this question: “What conversation or information do I need to understand this relationship better?”
Take that step: a conversation, a decision of your own or accepting that the bond doesn't offer what you hoped for.
Don't turn coincidences into messages you have to obey.

“I place this bond before Life. May I see what is really there, say what I wish for and hear what the other person wants. May no expectation keep me from recognizing their answer.”

Standing by someone you love

To wish someone you love well without deciding for them.

Time: Two minutes

Think of the person and of their strengths.
For one minute, picture them with support, independence and chances to develop what they themselves value.
Say the words.
If you pray in the name of Christ, add the second prayer.
When the moment and the trust are there, ask them what support they really need.
Don't decide in your imagination what their perfect life should be.

“I wish you clarity and what you need for your path. I see your abilities, and I respect that you don't have to live by my expectations. May I know how to walk beside you without taking your place.”

“In the name of the Christ in me, I honor the Christ in you. May you recognize your dignity and find what you need.”

Prosperity and Work